July 23 – Devils
Tower
First, it's a "Monument" not a "Park" - difference here: http://www.nps.gov/history/history/online_books/portfolio/portfolio0b.htm
The crankiness level of everyone was far higher than normal,
particularly certain teenagers. The number of rest stops, tourist sites, important
historical markers, new animals and general travel weariness was beginning to
take its toll. There were statements
made that indicated things such as “I’m never going on a trip like this
again.”
Being a parent, I concluded there’s really no solution to
this except more candy, more iPad time and pressing forward – the American way.
We had to get from Buffalo, WY to Devil’s Tower NationalPark. I had been unable to figure out
how to book the campground at Devil’s Tower, so I had booked a campground about
2 hours south of there in Custer State Forest as an alternative for that night.
HEY MASS PIKE, LONG TIME NO SEE
Even 3 days later as I write this I find it hard to remember
the drive from Buffalo to Devil’s Tower.
It’s becoming a bit of a blur. What I do remember is that we took Interstate 90 – yes, the same interstate that if we followed it East would
eventually cross into Massachusetts and become the Mass Pike. Thankfully, no tolls on this section, but it
was a deep red color and the speed limit was 80 MPH, far faster than I was able
to drive hauling the camper.
The Sad and Partying
Black Hills of South Dakota and Wyoming.
We arrived at Devil’s Tower, passing into the Wyoming side
of the Black Hills. Those of you who
know the Native American side of the story of the Black Hills know that
essentially the US signed treaties with various native tribes promising not to
take the Black Hills and then we took the Black Hills and, in the meantime,
lots of Indians got killed. I've summarized this a lot for brevity and because
I’d probably fuck it up if I told you any more detail.
That’s all history now, but it may be one of the lowest
points of US history – nothing to be proud of at all.
“That's all I have to say about
that.” – Forrest Gump
The other side of the Black Hills is loud motorcycles, men
with white handlebar mustaches and women of a certain age in tank tops, all
headed for Sturgis, SD – home of the largest motorcycle rally in the world
every August, which peters out to a small motorcycle rally that essentially
runs all year.
In all, a complicated and poignant testament to the
absurdity of life.
Close Encounters of
the Fly Kind
We arrived at Devil’s Tower and found the campground
available – in fact nearly empty. Given
that it was $12/night and had nice flush toilets, we felt lucky.
Aside from the many alien jokes I made on the way to Devil’s
Tower, there’s not much more I can add to the back-story. The giant column of
hexagonal rock is pretty darn impressive, less so because of the 5 gazillion
flies that inhabit the very beautiful campground. Perhaps the flies are attracted by the alien
vibes put off by the tower or perhaps they are attracted to the prairie dogs that,
like city rats that have gone Walden, inhabit a patch of ground called “Prairie
Dog Town” just below the Tower (Do Not Feed The Prairie Dogs).
We used my binoculars to watch crazy-ass rock climbers climb
up and rappel down the 800 foot face of the tower while we hummed the Mission
Impossible theme until other tourists gave us funny looks and began to give us
a wider berth.
Audrey did a Junior Ranger workbook and Max and Danny moodily
trudged the path around the tower in the 90 degree heat, reminding me that
parenting sometimes sucks moose butt.
Finally, we saw part of a ranger talk on the breeding of
flies for scientific experiments, complete with several plastic containers of
fly larvae squirming in beef liver pieces.
Binh was then convinced the enormous fly population was due to ranger,
not alien, breeding programs. We agreed to disagree.
Best points: the wood at the campground was free and the
campground host was a dude who Max thinks was the spitting image of Jon Goodman
in the Big Lebowski. His (the campground host) huskily asked me, “Your wife,
may I ask, where is she from?” If you say this in the voice of Jon Goodman, you
have experienced Devil’s Tower just like I did.
Devil’s Tower:
Achievement Unlocked
So you think that’s our Devil’s tower story, huh? Well, it’s
not. Because after the sun went down and the kids went to sleep, and the
campfire wound down, I stood in the warm night breeze in the dark as a storm traveled
its way behind the tower. And in the pitch black I watched as flashes
of lightning back-lit Devil’s Tower in total silence. It
was surreal and awesome and cool and all that other stuff. You cannot pay for
this kind of special effects. I got Max out of bed and Audrey came out too to
watch the show. Win.
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